Posted by: heart nibbler | October 24, 2008

ANTM Cycle 11 Episode 9 Recap…in Turquoise

Because having turquoise makes for better CoverGirl commercials.

I mean, duh.

(In all seriousness, sorry this is late.  It’s partly because I’m still sick and partly because I couldn’t find this episode on YouTube or via torrent for a while but I still found the episode and some commercials on YouTube.  Sources: All ANTM, fourfour, topmodel, T!YBE.  Let’s get started, shall we?)

File Under:

Joslyn and Stacy-Ann share a lot of similarities.  Other than being black and from the South, of course.

Both were eliminated in spectacularly weird eliminations prior to the international episodes.

‘s excitement cannot describe the rest of this clip.

(It has bad audio, sorry).

Both were passed over for contestants with stronger portfolios, according to the judges (at least).

Both had to deal with Tyra Banks’ fun-loving bitchiness.

But only Stacy-Ann had Belvedere.* This makes Stacy-Ann at least 10, if not 100, times better than Fake Dani Evans™.

(Please note how happy Fats is in that clip–a bit too happy.)

*I’m actually not sure what brand vodka that is.  I’m more fond of gin than I am vodka, sue me.  I spared you Whitney bitching talking about the cool girls dancing in the club in stilettos on leather couches, though, because I love you.

File Under: Seventeen’s Still Unbearable to Read

Note to Ann: Don’t try to be Anna Wintour.  You’re not.  Thank you.

File Under: Seventeen’s Unbearable to Work For

(Side note: I was looking for Ron and Richard Harris, the “Aswirl Twins” [scroll down if you need picspam NOW] and I found this:

I’m amazed this person actually has a job reporting entertainment news.  Sheena’s not what you say she is (even though Tyra said that aspects of her personality were, and I don’t care if it’s in ‘quotation marks,’ but you’re not Tyra, so…)– she’s just a girl that no one would do a double take at in the hood!  I thought we knew that by now!  But anyway)

Seventeen: starting the latest dumb fight (what shall be dubbed by me, and me alone, beating Tyra Banks before she can add the -gate to it, as the “Holiday Fight”) in a series of ANTM dumb fights since 2008.  I mean, fighting about a shoot only because you believe in holidays?  Sheena, baby, invest in some candy bars.  Coffee, even.  Or a skin disease.

You too, .  Pass the Saran Wrap while you’re at it.

Oh, and if this is the face of ‘evil’ (as opposed to your ‘good,’ Sheena, and as opposed to her emotionless 95% of the time) I advise you to pick up a Hannibal book or one of Stephen King’s older books or a biography of Hitler or something.

File Under: Cupcakes

I love you, Whitney, but when people (myself included, sadly) are making fun of you for national television ads that aired weeks ago, you’re doomed, even with your Judy Winslow-like appearance in this episode.

File Under: Death no. 36,000,001

I’m stunned when people think the Cycle 11 girls are more model-esque than the Cycle 10 girls.  For one, the Cycle 10 girls looked better on runway than the Cycle 11 girls thus far.  Yes, even Lauren Utter looked better than Hannah White on the runway.  Also: the Cycle 10 commercials (the That’s Amore! café shoot and the Coliseum shoot) were more tolerable than a shoot that featured threatening gestures…

Palin-esque winking…

and the Revelation of the Dumb Reason Why Elina Is Going.  Home.™

Maybe this season shouldn’t have been the season in which the girls finally get to read off a TelePrompter.

File Under: the Tessa Carlson Awards

Tyra Banks just cannot wait to declare her favorites/least favorites on this show, can she?

There was Lluvy’s Pisces picture.

Tessa Carlson’s picture was way worse, ahem.

Then, this season, there was Lauren Brie’s hot-air balloon shot.

A few weeks later, she was gone.

I’m guessing Ahnahleigh is fucked in about, say, two or three weeks then, if Tyra loved her commercial (which wasn’t as good as Sheena’s love of turquoise on celluloid).

File Under:

Finally, here is a random montage of possibly the best guests in the history of ANTM, the Aswirl Twins.

And, for good measure (and because Party Monster was awesome, despite what some critics think), James St. James.

Wonderful.  Fabulous.  Brazilia.

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  1. [...] Previously on America’s Next. Top.  Model.  Seven girls did horrible CoverGirl commercials.…Who will be eliminated next? [...]

  2. [...] Episode 9: Recap…in Turquoise [...]



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