(My semi-serious bio is at the bottom of this gag.)
hearts for dinner:
and
hearts for dinner: run by an engine driven by worryingly adult powers of Bitch™ since 2008.
Bitch™: power that you can get excited about for a change! (Apologies to Fatima Siad.)
Me:
My name is RD (nee Rasheeda) Smith. (This is bolded for people who can’t read too good.) I was born, went to school in and currently from North Carolina. And aside from the occasional epic college basketball game aired nationally, IT IS BORING. Don’t believe me? Live here for a week in a Hampton Inn. You will see tumbleweeds made of pine straw float by city streets.* (I’m talking to a few people in my past here, notably some people from Florida.)
I grew up in a broken home and because of this I was horribly mismanaged when I was a child at grade school, “grade school” meaning the faulty 1990 model, not the improved 2009 model, leading me to be inverted, timid, shy and nerdy.
While I was at UNC, I discovered blogging and I blogged about television, albeit A Different World, the Food Network (when I was in awe of it), music, movies, my personal photos and, accidentally, gossip. I had a happy relationship with blogging until about 2006-ish, when my collegiate life (academically, my relationship with my roommate, my mother) was spiraling out of control and I no longer wanted to blog about all of the above. So I gave it up and in my post-graduation, mother-caused (2007) desperation, made the stupidest and smartest decision I ever made in my life: go to culinary school in Florida (despite the fact there are culinary schools in boring North Carolina, RD)!
I went to Florida in search of Giada De Laurentiis—you know, just in case she was in town for the Wine & Food Festival—a gay subculture and house music. I found the latter two things and, most importantly, myself. Had it not been for a Z-list troll I would’ve never turned my back on my weak attempt to start a food/personal blog on Vox. After I started this blog I discovered I cared more about writing than I did the culinary school (I’ve mentioned and hinted at it before in my posts but I won’t mention the school by name in this bio). I dropped out—not like the degree would look good on my resume then, now or ever.
I am currently looking for a job that can pay the bills as I pursue freelance journalism. If you’d like to hire me to write something, send me fan letters or buy me a drink, my blog e-mail address is heartnibbler [at] gmail.com. Spam will be fed to the Vikings, thank you very much. The drink, however, I will forward to Mecia.
She’ll appreciate it.
*I’m exaggerating. But if tumbleweeds could be made with pine straw, it would happen in North Carolina.
