Posted by: heart nibbler | July 11, 2009

Britain’s Next Top Model Cycle 5, Episode 12: The Finale, Part I

Previously on The Ashley Brown Programme: Louie wore these things.


And, sadly, Ashley Brown was kicked off her own programme.

lisa yay

Don’t even start.  It was never your programme to begin with, Lisa.

Sophie, Jade and Mecia were assistants to people at a Buenos Aires Fashion Week show.  Sophie worked with a hairdresser.  Jade worked with someone who is making sure the models for this particular show are in order.  Mecia looked for a model with a white face.

Considering Mecia-speak is a widely-spoken language in Argentina, this was an easy task.


In (mercifully) the final shoot for this cycle, the English portrayed various stages in Eva Perón’s life (without slamming her in the middle of a favela for no reason although she had nothing to do with favelassorry, flashbacks) as well as beauty shots as Eva.  Louis was Louis.

louis judging

Jade was Eva Perón as a dancer, although Eva was not a dancer.  But Eva was a model! That counts, right?  No?  Okay.

Sophie was a poverty-stricken Eva Perón.

Mecia was…um…see photo.  Please note in Mecia-speak Eva is pronounced Eve-a instead of Ave-a.

Lisa said Mecia was Eva Perón as the First Lady of Argentina, but I don’t really trust Lisa’s judgment, so the photo caption stays.


Poor Jade is kicked off the programme, leaving Mecia and Sophie to do some sort of a fashion parade in the streets of Buenos Aires.  Mecia thought she looked better than Sophie.  Sophie thought she looked better than Mecia.

clown-faced draw

I say they both look like really, really bad clowns.

Earlier Sophie said Ashley’s final kiss with Ivan was like “soft porn.”  Sophie said Mecia looked like a “porn star” in the parade.

By extension these are also faces of a porn star:


I can’t believe I was worried about Ashley thinking about what’s in Playboy. I should be more worried about Sophie, she who once wanted a stranger to tell Sophie what she wore for her husband in the bedroom.

For the last time, Lisa, they are not fierce.  They are English. Get a hold of yourself, will you?

Lisa declared the parade dance-off a draw.  That means there’s an Episode 13, which will be up shortly.



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