When last we left Aminal Food we got serious.  Hopefully my growing pessimism (no, seriously) will not damper what came after the last 10 minutes.

I know, right?

The second part starts at the Wynn, where Poochie waits.  He tells them that they’ll create a buffet, what real Food Network “Stars” do on a regular basis! The judges, Wynn chefs and “entertainers” will come to this hellish buffet.  Introductory speeches from the active frat during the buffet to follow.  See the wedding challenge, episode 1, last season for more information.  The restrictions: $1000, 6 hrs, Shane, Whitney and PIGTAILS and Whole Foods.  Whatevers.

Aaron says the entertainers need steak.  Le sigh.  Vegetarians: never existing in Beemer!

Lisa rolls over something with her cart that will be revealed later as something she left.

Lisa chooses Whitney as her sous.  K takes Shane.  Aaron has PIGTAILS.

K’s buffet actually seems friendly to all eaters.  So does Lisa’s.  Aaron, however, has forgotten about the vegetarian.

K smokes his chicken, apparently a “big risk.”

Lisa is missing 5 lbs of fish.  She has to stretch that for her monkfish.

Apparently either I or K do not know how to say “Tryst.” And I’m thinking it’s him. (“Trihst?” For real?)  It’s a nightclub in the Wynn that has been tacky-fied for the Food Network.

Poochie does his best Tom Colicchio impersonation in the industrial kitchen.  Poochie, you are not Tom.  The bears will never love you the way they do Tom. Just stop.

Lisa burns her pork.  She cuts the burnt half off at around 10 minutes left.

(Other mishaps that cannot be covered in 1 minute here.)

(Various Vegas performers, drag queens, judges, chefs here.)

(Wish for more drag queens on this show here.)

For buffet introductions Lisa sings…and she’s not bad.  The rest of the introductions go downhill from here.

Aaron does a strange “an eating disorder” bit.  It doesn’t work.  He also berates his audience (that’s my job, thankyouverymuch).  I have the perfect solution: a Speedo! And then you go to the audience, put on some clichéd techno song and do this!

INSTANT.  COMEDY.  GOLD.  Try it!

K YELLS.  This works, I guess, because YELLING PROVOKES A RESPONSE IN PEOPLE!  K also has a smoketacular smoketacular!  Whooo….eh.

(Here is a sequence of frat members serving the Tryst crowd.  This, once again, is not interesting.  So we skip to a general description of the food.)

Lisa’s pork is dry.

Aaron’s food “lacks creativity.”

K has the “best” buffet, according to the Wynn chefs.

Aaron’s food is cluttered.

Overall a lot of people like Adam.  And maybe Lisa.

And, for the last time, we say goodbye to Shane (which we rarely saw thanks to bad editing), Whitney and PIGTAILS (see Shane comment).  That is, until next episode!

Back to Caesar’s for judging.

Aaron-the judges like his promo but hated his buffet performance and his buffet because it lacked variety (the critique: too many pastas.  Yeah, I’m shocked, too, but Little Man =/= foodie).  Poochie wanted a “family story.”  Like family stories sell television shows…unless you’re The Amazing Race, and The Amazing Race practically earned its Emmys with “family stories.”

Lisa-the judges feel her lack her confidence in the promo but liked her buffet performance and setup.  The pork was inconsistent.

K-Apparently there was his sense of humor in the promo.  Meanwhile the judges thought his buffet performance was boring.  The judges like his DO NOT WANT food.  His pork dish is the best.  (I sense winner’s edit, for real.  Ever since last week, but I never said that.)

America, your winner will be in the “final episode” and “revealed” later.  Apparently next week the new show will air and if your winner flees like Amy did last season, I think we may have put a stake in Little Man’s little heart.

Next week, I have to see that fucking 30 Minute Meals set again?

Side note: I’m going to North Carolina next week, so the recap for the final will be late, we’ll say…next Wednesday, I guess.  But I’ll see about getting the review up Monday instead.  (It’ll be in the afternoon, so be patient.)  I will also review the first episode of the winner’s new show.  If I can help cancel another Food Network show I will consider it my good deed of the year.  Speaking of…I’d like to cancel at least Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. Thanks in advance, Food Network!

Also, for no apparent reason at all, let’s close with “Miss Honey” because I like that song.  (I found this via Crunk and Disorderly, so credit Fresh for this video.)